Warning! This post contains poor choice in language, so if you take offense to colorful language…avoid this post!
The Devil and I…we had some words this morning. He was all gung-ho about me not going to church, on what is probably one of the most important Christian holidays of the year next to Christmas. Easter, that is. Here is how the throw down went with the Devil and I:
Devil – Hahaha *mischievous cackle* I’m going to wake her up at 6am for her to discover that her husband has fallen asleep on the couch while watching March Madness, in the most awkward sitting position making him so sleep deprived, he’ll not want to go to church. Oh, and I’ll make sure his team loses…that’ll make him bright-eyed and cheery!
Danielle – Hmmm would ya look at that…I’m not sure how he managed to sleep like that? Oh well, at least he has a little bit of time before he has to be up to go to church.
Devil – Wardrobe woes? I think so! She’ll not shave her legs because pants are so much easier, but wait! Her pants no longer fit her after losing the mass of weight equal to a small child! Oh Devil, I’m bad (Because what Devil says “oh God, I’m good!”?)!
Danielle – Wow, these pants are falling off of me like a wannabe gangsta with undies so awesome he must show them off to the entire world… I’ll wear a dress; errrr…forgot to shave my legs. Pantyhose it is! The control top makes my mummy tummy not look so bad!
Devil – WTF? She hasn’t worn panty hose since before she met her husband! Better believe those things have nice ol’ run in them.
Danielle – Well crap. Good thing that run is on the bottom of the foot. I’ll use my overly pastel pink nail polish and make sure it doesn’t run further.
Devil – Fuck (the Devil said it, not me)! Fine, your purse…with your ID that you’ll need to get on base…you’ll forget that.
Danielle – UGH! Forgot my purse, guess Liam and I are going back up the elevator to fetch my purse.
Devil – KEY, GET JAMMED IN DOOR!
Danielle – I hate this lock! Guess I’ll have to go down a floor, go up the stairs and go in through the front door.
Devil – *Bangs head on nearest surface* I *bang* give *bang* up *bang*.
Happy Easter everyone! I hope your Easter morning went a little smoother than mine. (And then, of course, we came home and promptly sinned…Damn Easter Bunny false idol…)