I’ll admit that I tend to be a loner now that I am a stay at home mom in a foreign country, and I’ll also admit that making friends isn’t the easiest for me (Would you believe me if I said that I’m kind of shy towards new people?). That being said, Sean finally urged me to go to a local play group this past week, which I only agreed to because he was tagging along. The play group was fine (minus the fact that I think my boys scared another mom and she would always manage to be on the opposite side of the room from them, no, I’m not kidding. One would crawl near her and she would get up and move…) and the boys were completely exhausted afterward so that was a bonus in my favor. With a successful play group under my belt I kind of felt like I could ‘do this’, put myself out there more.
Fast forward to Saturday morning where I submit a request to join the local MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers (but babies are welcome)) Facebook group, which was accepted. Hooray! I perused through the recent posts to get a feel for the group which seems rather pleasant, consisting of ‘looking for help’ and ‘play date anyone?’ types of posts.
Now fast forward to yesterday morning. Looking through new posts I come across one where a mom was asking for suggestions on a baby carrier…something that I figure I could put my two-cents worth of personal opinion on. Going through my list of why I like the brand of baby carrier we use for our boys consisting of the various options it has, inward/outward/back wearing options, plus the added bonus of being able to strap your kid to a chair with it in cases that there is no highchair available. Okay, so maybe I shouldn’t have said “strap your kid to the chair”, but do you really think I straight jacket my kid, dangling from a chair while eating?
Feeling pretty proud of myself for attempting to be helpful as my initial ‘intro’ into the group and then WHAM, a mom follows up what I said with a link (and only a link, she didn’t say anything beyond just posting the link) that pretty much states that I am an evil parent for having my baby in the outward facing position in the carrier. My heart sank and I felt about two inches tall (while in my head I was screaming F*()#&(*#$ YOU AND THE SMELLY LLAMA YOU RODE IN ON) .
Sean, bless his heart, came to my rescue and followed up her post with stating how all parents are welcome to their opinions and that we all chose what we believe to be best for our kids. She came back with more nonsense including the word “cringe” so Sean ultimately deleted all of our comments because obviously this lady was out to prove herself.
What is with the ‘Mommy (and/or Daddy, not to exclude anyone) Wars’ people?!? Don’t you see that as parents we all strive to do what we think is best for our kids? Educating ourselves prior to making decisions, while learning as we go… Sure, some may fall off the figurative ‘good parent wagon’ once in a while, but is that a reason to put someone down? For goodness sake help the person back into the wagon before your judgment tramples them! What works for some, may not for others. Just because I wear my kids facing out doesn’t mean that I am a horrible mom, I’ve read about the reasons for and against it prior to purchasing a baby carrier that my husband and I chose would work best for US. Being a parent is hard. Being the ‘perfect’ parent is an unreal ideal. So to all the ‘imperfect’ parents out there…high freakin’ five y’all!
P.S. I’m not here to start a debate about forward or inward facing baby carriers, and as a personal side note, I didn’t even use a baby carrier until my guys were almost a year old.