An Epic Tale of One Baby…

…and his battle against the evil diaper…

Okay so maybe it isn’t ‘epic’ per say, but the unforgiving narrator in my head seems to think so…I mean, everyone narrates their daily lives complete with movie voice overs and theme songs right? Gosh I sure hope so. Sometimes I think its the one thing that keeps me sane throughout the day (although that admittedly sounds like a catch 22).

Anyway, back to the epic tale. Last week prior to leaving with Sean on work trip to Spangdahlem, Germany, I was left to pack, clean, and watch the boys due to Sean leaving early that morning for on out of town meeting. Which, as awful as that sounds…it gets worse because I had come down with the cold the boys were also battling. Cue sore throat, stuffy nose, and sinuses that felt like a rhino took up residence in my head. The boys were actually being fairly decent and letting me get work done around the house while playing in their room. Thank you babies!

Time passes as I’m taking all my tasks in stride when I notice I haven’t heard the boys for awhile. Every parent knows that when you can’t hear your kids, they’re up to no good. Rounding the corner to their room, expecting to find Liam stuck in the closet again, I instead see a lonely diaper and no babies… Talk about panic! The only thing going through my head was “please don’t let there be poop finger paint, please please please!”. As I close in on their room I see Liam playing behind the rocking chair and Abram…well…playing with his baby bits.

(NOTE: If I had one thing I wish my mom, sisters, sisters-in-law, or any other woman out there with a son, would have told me it would be that when a little boy discovers his goods…he will yank, pull, prod, poke, and choke it beyond recognition. I mean seriously! Even as a woman, the shapes they’ll contort their little bits into has me even crossing my legs in pain!)

Apparently God heard my pleas of no poop finger paint and spared me this time…

However… Yesterday as my husband and I are preparing dinner he hears Liam cry and goes to settle him down. Not but a few seconds after he leaves the room I hear “Danielle! Come here! Now!”. Thinking Liam was gushing blood I drop everything and hightail it to their room, but slow to a trot once I see there is no blood and everyone seems to be fine. That is until I notice the look Sean is giving in the direction of the floor. Following the path of his glance downwards I see Abram standing next to a puddle, and think ‘so what…it’s a puddle, happens almost daily’. Well what I hadn’t noticed was the giant cheesy grin on Abram’s face while doing his interpretation of “Free Willy”.

Hey…at least it wasn’t poop…

P.S. Abram started walking while we were away. Some reason my kids have a knack for doing momentous things in hotel rooms. I might as well color my hair gray now (I’ll call it platinum blond) with two walking kiddos.

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