Mom, knowing that you are an avid reader of mine, you will be happy to know that the story I am about to tell treads lightly on the line of karma, or revenge depending on how you look at it. Sit back and enjoy, mom…for I know you will be very pleased how life events are playing out on this end of the world knowing first hand what trouble two little ones can get into.
The following is a rendition of a story my mom loves to tell to pretty much anyone who will listen, which most people do considering the fact that now so many years after the event its rather entertaining, although I am sure at the time my mom was livid. Being a mom of twins myself, I can understand how in a matter of minutes your day can turn into pure chaos if little people have any say in the matter. My mom stayed home with my sister and I for awhile but decided that she wanted to return to the working world she loved before having my twin sister and I. Imagine, if you will, my mom getting ready for an important job interview with her two girls being ever so quiet and supposedly good. Being the ever insightful mom that she is, she decides that quiet is not a good thing and comes to check on us. Upon investigation she finds her two creative, smart little girls taking part in the family plumbing business. That’s right…we took it upon ourselves to empty the toilet, one dixie cup at a time. Needless to say, my mom was a little frazzled by the bathroom floor lake which doesn’t help in preparing for a job interview.
I can’t honestly tell you if my mom got the job or not, but here is where karma comes into play…
Fast forward 25ish some odd years to where I am now a mom of twins, attempting the daily grind of keeping my head above water, figuratively speaking. Sean returned back to work today after being furloughed thanks to the lovely government shutdown, leaving me to return to my routine of mono-e-minis. The way our house is arranged, I can sit at my desk working on editing photos or peruse the internet while having a view of the boys’s room out of the corner of my eye. Apparently, I need to get my peripheral vision checked because I smelled the looming disaster from my desk before I actually saw it. Turning my head to see if I had shut the diaper pail correctly…I see it…or them…I’m honestly not sure how to describe a multitude of poo. It.was.EVERYWHERE! Their cute, innocent, poo covered faces came running to greet me upon my fits of “OH MY GOD!” entering their room. I’ll tell you one thing, your child covered in poo is an internal battle of wits. It’s a combination of ‘AHHH!!! Don’t touch me!’ and ‘Come here so I can strip you of the filth you are wearing!’. Ultimately, my internal mom stepped up her game and took care of business.
I’m not 100% sure how the poomagedon happened, but I think Liam is the culprit, as he was the only one wearing clothing that would have permitted entrance into one’s diaper. Knowing Abram though, I’m sure that if Liam had something that he wanted bad enough…he we make sure to take it away. I guess the nice thing for them though, is that poo being a lovely pliable material was easily shared for all to enjoy. And why waste your efforts just stomping it into the floor when you can paint on the back of your brother’s shirt, or tint your brother’s eyebrows a lovely shade of brown? It will be a very long time before Liam is allowed to wear anything that doesn’t fully encapsulate his body or at the very least, button below his britches.
Did the minis get a bath? You betcha!
Is their floor sparkling clean? You betcha!
Do I still have the lingering sent of poo following me? You betcha!