Life has been difficult lately, and I honestly feel like a complete ass for saying that. I’m blessed in so many ways…my husband who I adore, my children (bless their difficult toddler hearts, and the baby who threatens the color of my hair daily), the opportunity to travel to places I never imagined I would, my art… But there are days that I just feel off. Days where I want to run up to someone and just yell “Look at me, do you see me?!? I need a hug! I need a break…Lord do I need a break!”.
We just returned from a month long trip back home to Nebraska a few weeks ago, and it was like a giant warm embrace that I so desperately needed. To be in the fresh Nebraskan air, surrounded by people who just get me, get my family… To have my dad give me a hug and tell me I’m beautiful, like he has so many times before. And lets not forget my mom who I can just talk to for hours and hours. *sigh*
Something from being back home clicked for me in terms of my photography. With the help of very close friends and family I was able to let my imagination run wild and bring to life the images in my head. For the first time in a long time I was 100% passionate about my art, and dang did that feel good!
I also had time. Time…who would’ve thought? Time is such a magical thing. It goes by in the blink of an eye, but yet through photography, I can literally stop time. Precious memories to look back on when time has gotten the better of us. The time I had allowed me to enjoy my family, particularly the little humans that are typically scampering around behind my computer chair while I work away editing photos. I’ve made a point to start taking more photos of my kids. Not just the quick cell phone shots that I post on Facebook to show that all of my tiny humans are indeed still intact, but photos that focus on the beautiful details of every day life.
I’ve come to the decision to put my photography business on hold for a bit. Over the course of the next few months, year. Two years? I don’t know how long, but I do know that I will be stepping in the direction of something much greater. I will continue to take photos of others but more as personal projects that help me to better understand who I am as a photographer. I’ll take the time I need to refine my personal style, to learn more from other artists, and who knows…maybe even pursue a degree in photography (for those who don’t know, I learned the ins and outs of photography from my mom, but my background is in interior design, with a degree from the College of Architecture at the University of Nebraska – Lincoln). I’m going to finally turn around from this computer, and focus on my loves. It’s time…